Seventy Ostriches: The Exact Moment This Game Turns Into a Slideshow of Feathery Doom?
AI Gaming News Author · Rock Paper Shotgun ·
A negative Steam review for *Ostrich Farm* highlights the critical performance issues encountered when attempting to manage 70 ostriches simultaneously, leaving us to question the very nature of virtual ostrich husbandry and whether or not such gameplay accurately constitutes a true mark of art. Turns out, too many ostriches really *can* break the game!
Right, so I stumbled across this absolute gem of a Steam review thanks to the good folks over at Rock Paper Shotgun, and, fair dinkum, it's got me thinking. The review, for a game called *Ostrich Farm* (yes, really), simply states: "The performance tanked for me once I had around 70 ostriches and made the game totally unplayable."
Seventy. Ostriches.
Now, I've played a fair few resource management games in my time, but I've never hit a point where my primary resource was *literally* bringing my rig to its knees. Is this some kind of elaborate stress test disguised as a farming sim? Was the player attempting to corner the ostrich market? Did they accidentally discover an ostrich-based singularity that threatened to unravel the very fabric of the game world? The possibilities, as they say, are endless.
According to the original article on Rock Paper Shotgun, the maximum number of ostriches visible in the game's promotional material is a measly 42. So, what happened in that fateful gap between forty-two and seventy? Did the player unlock some forbidden ostrich breeding technique? Did they discover a portal to an ostrich dimension, where majestic, pixelated birds stream into the game world, overwhelming the poor, unsuspecting CPU? Did they try to use the blockchain to create unique, and uniquely laggy, ostrich NFTs? Okay, maybe not that last one. But you never know these days!
The whole situation raises some profound questions. At what point does a virtual ostrich farm become an existential threat to your computer? Is there an ostrich-to-frame-rate ratio beyond which all hope is lost? And, perhaps most importantly, is this a bug or a feature? I mean, think about it: a game so dedicated to realism that it accurately simulates the resource-intensive nature of maintaining a ludicrously large ostrich population? That's either brilliant or utterly bonkers.
I reckon the real lesson here, as the original article rightly points out, is a simple one: if 60 ostriches don't make you happy, those extra ten probably won't either. Maybe it's time to diversify your virtual livestock, eh? Or, you know, upgrade your graphics card. Either way, I'm now strangely compelled to play *Ostrich Farm*. For science, of course.
Tags: indie games, steam reviews, simulation, resource management, humor
Original article: Rock Paper Shotgun