Nevermore Academy: Where The Bloody Hell Did All The Lessons Go?
AI Gaming News Author · Polygon ·
Jeff dives into the perplexing lack of actual schooling at Netflix's Nevermore Academy, wondering why, despite a budget boost and snazzy visuals, the show seems to have forgotten its core 'school' premise. He playfully critiques the vague curriculum, absent teachers, and the principal's fundraising-over-academics approach, asking what a curious gamer expects from a fantastical institution.
Right, so Netflix's *Wednesday* has been a bit of a phenomenon, hasn't it? Like a perfectly brewed potion, it captured that dark, quirky magic, whisking us away to a boarding school where being 'different' is the norm. You know the drill, mate: supernatural kids, ancient mysteries, and a protagonist who's about as warm as a vampire's handshake. It's got all the hallmarks of a good magical academy tale, a bit like a certain wizarding school that shall not be named, but with more sepia tones and significantly fewer quidditch matches.
But here's a curious thing I've been tinkering with all morning, like a rogue spell that just won't quite fizzle out: while *Wednesday* nails the 'supernatural boarding school' *aesthetic* – especially with its shiny new second season – it seems to have completely misplaced the 'school' part. Seriously, what in the name of all that is spooky do they actually *teach* at Nevermore Academy?
Now, don't get me wrong. Season 2, bless its cotton socks (probably black and striped), got a proper budget boost. The new Nevermore Academy set? Fair dinkum, it's a visual treat. We're talking Hot Topic Hogwarts vibes, uniforms that look like they're practically begging for a cosplay convention, and a swanky new 'Tell Tale' cart on campus serving drinks so ludicrously decorated you'd think they were trying to distract us from something. And they do a good job of it! The kids spend a fair chunk of screen time just hanging out, sipping these concoctions, flirting, and generally trying to rope Wednesday Addams into their various shenanigans. But, uh, when do they, you know, *go to class*?
Cast your minds back to Season 1, if you can still remember a time before Nevermore had a dedicated on-campus caffeine dealer. We actually *saw* Christina Ricci's botany class. There was a library! A place where books lived, and presumably, knowledge was occasionally absorbed. Did Nevermore just… not bother replacing the botany teacher after she went to the slammer? Who knows! The library seems to have pulled a disappearing act too, only surfacing as a cryptic riddle device, not a place for actual study. It's like an RPG where the lore entries mention a grand archive, but the only time you visit it is for a specific quest item.
Now, Season 2 does give us a couple of new faculty members. Billie Piper swings in as the music teacher, trying to get Wednesday to join a band (because, priorities, right?). And then there's Christopher Lloyd, a head in a jar, teaching biology and running detention. So, two fairly conventional high school subjects, plus an extracurricular. But what's the rest of the syllabus? Wednesday is an aspiring writer, a wordsmith of morbid tales. You'd think she'd be wrestling with English or creative writing, but if she is, we certainly aren't seeing it. Imagine the fireworks if she actually had to take feedback on her 'masterpiece' – that'd be more explosive than a rogue polyjuice potion, I reckon!
And let's talk about the new principal, Barry Dort (played by the always brilliant Steve Buscemi). His big plan to raise money for the school? Not by showing off its academic prowess, oh no. Instead, it's all about pricey bonfires and camping trips. He even leans on a scholarship student, a siren no less, to ditch her studies and use her powers for fundraising. Is that their version of 'practical education'? Learning how to grift wealthy parents with a bit of siren song? It feels less like a school administration and more like a fledgling start-up trying to pivot to event management, except the product is 'vaguely defined magical education.' It's like a game promising a deep crafting system but only delivering a single, poorly explained minigame.
Beyond these few glimpses, Nevermore's operational structure is murkier than the Black Lake on a moonless night. Season 1 had its neat creature cliques: sirens, vampires, werewolves, gorgons. But then the vampires just sort of… vanished in Season 2, replaced by 'DaVincis' who can conjure complex props out of thin air. Is Nevermore just a glorified daycare for superpowered teens, a place to keep them from freaking out the 'normies'? Or are they actually *honing* these powers? Eugene Ottinger, our bee-controlling pal, goes from commanding bees to all arthropods in Season 2. Is that some kind of independent study? Because if so, it's clearly unsupervised, given Pugsley Addams managed to stash a zombie in his bug shed. Bloody hell, even Hogwarts, with its giant spiders and death-eater incursions, at least made it abundantly clear the kids were learning *something*.
Nevermore's attitude towards academics and, frankly, student safety, feels ridiculously lax. The school year wraps up early, no doubt expedited by the rather inconvenient death of the *second* principal in as many years. Two principals in two seasons? That's a higher turnover rate than most free-to-play mobile games. Maybe the show's writers genuinely don't care what goes on in the classrooms, hoping we're all too charmed by Wednesday's wit and the gothic aesthetics to notice. It's like buying a new console for its sleek design, only to find half the ports are missing.
So, what's the real mystery here? Is it a deliberate choice to make Nevermore a place of atmospheric chaos rather than structured learning? Or is it a case of a big budget leading to bigger sets but shallower substance? I'm genuinely curious, mate. It’s a bit like playing an open-world RPG where all the quest markers have vanished, and you’re just left wandering, wondering what the actual objective is. Perhaps Season 3 will finally unveil the mythical Nevermore curriculum. Or maybe it'll just introduce another coffee cart. Fingers crossed for more learning, fewer dead administrators, eh? It’d be nice to see the system actually *work* for a change.
*Original article by Samantha Nelson for Polygon.*
Tags: Netflix, Wednesday, TV Show Analysis, Fantasy School, Pop Culture
Original article: Polygon