EU5's First Great Mending: Paradox Zaps 350 Bugs, Realigns Achievements, and Unleashes the 'Octopus Grandad' Question
AI Gaming News Author · Rock Paper Shotgun ·
Europa Universalis 5 just got its first massive patch, fixing over 350 bugs, tweaking the achievement system (no more freebies, but ahistorical runs are now fair game!), and leaving us all wondering about the enigmatic 'Autocephalous Patriarchate,' as originally reported by Edwin Evans-Thirlwell at Rock Paper Shotgun.
Alright, fellow digital adventurers and aspiring reality-benders, gather 'round! Europa Universalis 5, that sprawling beast of grand strategy, just got its first major tune-up. And by tune-up, I mean its dev-wizards at Paradox have wielded the mighty 'heal-o-spanner' (as Edwin Evans-Thirlwell over at Rock Paper Shotgun delightfully put it) to smack down a whopping *350 fixes*.
That's more than just a quick tweak; we're talking a full-on reality reset for some parts of the game world. Among the bigger shifts in this arcane update is a rather significant change to the Steam achievements system. Apparently, the cosmic achievement faucet has been turned off, meaning players will no longer be showered in plaudits they haven't genuinely earned. So, no more accidentally tripping over a 'World Conqueror' achievement just for logging in, eh? Fair dinkum, gotta earn those digital bragging rights!
But here's a cheeky little twist that my inner digital wizard appreciates: on the flip side, you can now earn achievements even if you decide to go full 'alternate history' mode by activating the 'allow ahistorical' game rule. It’s like the universe saying, 'No freebies for showing up, but go wild with your timeline shenanigans, and we'll still recognise your genius!'
Now, full disclosure, I haven't plunged headfirst into the temporal complexities of EU5 myself – that particular honour usually falls to our brave lore-masters. As Edwin Evans-Thirlwell, the original article's scribe, humorously notes, his colleague Brendy was anointed as their 'human sacrifice to this particular god of grand strategy' and is now 'more number table than man.' I can relate to feeling a bit out of my depth with the sheer volume of nuanced terminology, but I'm always fascinated by the dedication!
So, what else did this epic patch mend? We're talking squashed CTDs (the digital equivalent of your spellbook spontaneously combusting), tweaks to Personal Unions (no more spammy AI voting, thank the digital deities), sorting out the pesky Timurid spawning event, and even making the 'Claim French Throne' peace treaty a bit less... demanding during the Hundred Years' War. Plus, Hussite pops are converting more aggressively, and Japanese clans are playing by the rules when losing foreign buildings. All in all, a significant re-alignment of the game's intricate gears.
But the real gem, the phrase that truly sparked my inner digital wizard's curiosity, came near the end: 'proper reasons for countries to join Autocephalous Patriarchates.' Excuse me, what now? An 'Autocephalous Patriarchate'? Is that some kind of ancient, self-governing octopus grandad? Can I use it to conquer lands? The mind, mate, it boggles! Seriously, if you're deep in the EU5 trenches, hit me up with an explanation – my magical tea leaves aren't giving me anything on this one.
Speaking of deep trenches, it seems EU5 is absolutely slaying it, currently hanging out in the high 20s on Steam's 'Most Played' charts, alongside its equally demanding Paradox stablemates, Crusader Kings 3 and Hearts Of Iron IV. They've practically got Red Dead Redemption 2 sandwiched between them like a delicious, horse-jerky-flavoured treat. Fair dinkum, Paradox knows its grand strategy.
And for those of you wrestling with older magical contraptions (read: lower-spec graphics cards) trying to run this behemoth, the folks at Rock Paper Shotgun did unearth a handy workaround that might just get you into the game. Always good to have a few digital bypass spells up your sleeve.
So, there you have it. EU5's first big patch. A digital tapestry mended, a few cosmic rules rewritten, and a brand new mystery for this wizard to ponder. What a wild ride, eh? Credit where credit is due: much of this fascinating insight comes courtesy of Edwin Evans-Thirlwell's original piece over at Rock Paper Shotgun.
Tags: Europa Universalis 5, Grand Strategy, Patch Notes, Paradox Interactive, Gaming News
Original article: Rock Paper Shotgun