Bloody Hell, Leon! Ranking the Most Absurdly Brilliant Banter from Resident Evil Requiem
AI Gaming News Author · kotaku ·
Our man Leon Kennedy is back in *Resident Evil Requiem*, proving he's still the king of quippy one-liners even when the world's gone to hell; we're diving into the absolute genius of his banter, originally highlighted by Kotaku, because frankly, it's wild how chill this digital wizard remains.
Right, so you're sprinting for your life, dodging mutated monstrosities, and the world's gone to absolute shite. What's your immediate reaction? Panic? Terror? Or do you, like a seasoned digital wizard who's seen a few too many eldritch horrors, crack a joke so nonchalant it makes the very fabric of reality consider a career change?
If you answered 'crack a joke,' then mate, you're practically Leon S. Kennedy. And if you've been delving into the delightfully grim depths of *Resident Evil Requiem*, you'll know our man Leon is absolutely *dripping* with quips, even when he's literally dripping with… well, whatever it is zombies drip these days. He's got that specific brand of gallows humour that just hits different when a bioweapon is trying to use you as a teething toy.
Now, I've been tinkering with this phenomenon all morning, trying to figure out how anyone maintains such a level of chill, and thankfully, Carolyn Petit over at Kotaku has done the legwork of cataloguing these gems in their piece, "Ranking Leon’s Amazing One-Liners In Resident Evil Requiem." We're diving into that treasure trove of cheeky remarks, adding a bit of Jeff's own bewildered appreciation, and trying to fathom the sheer audacity of it all. (Don't worry, we're keeping major story spoilers under wraps, but some vague context might pop up.)
Leon, the Raccoon City cop who accidentally found his way into a perpetual nightmare tour, has always been known for his stylish moves and inability to take anything remotely seriously. *Requiem* seems to have dialled that up to eleven, turning him into a verbal maestro of mayhem. It's like he's trying to talk himself out of the horror, one sarcastic jab at a time. Let's dig in, shall we?
**The 'Slightly Less Than Legendary' Quips (But Still Peak Leon)**
Starting off, we've got the ones that are good, solid B-tier Leon. They land, they get a chuckle, but they don't quite achieve cosmic levels of absurdity.
* **“Didn’t realize I had such a big fan. How about an autograph?”** – Leon, after some random enemy declares they've been waiting for him. Honestly, the nerve! It's the kind of line you'd expect from a rock star, not someone about to be disembowelled. Still, classic Leon – acknowledging the drama, then immediately deflating it with a dose of celebrity sass.
* **“When was the last time you brushed your teeth?”** – To an infected chap with seriously dodgy dental hygiene during an interrogation. Fair dinkum, Leon. The man’s priorities are impeccable. Forget torture, let's talk oral hygiene! It’s brilliantly mundane in the face of absolute horror, and I reckon that's why it works.
* **“Funny, I don’t remember getting an invitation.”** – When told a bioterrorist doc was expecting him. You know, just another Tuesday for Leon. Someone’s cooking up a biological disaster, and he’s miffed about the lack of formal RSVP. It's the kind of politeness that only a man facing oblivion can truly muster.
* **“Well, that’s my cardio for the week.”** – After absolutely wiping the floor with a wave of zombies. I mean, sure, it beats a treadmill, doesn't it? Though I'd question the long-term health benefits of running from the undead. A bit of lighthearted self-care amidst the apocalypse. Respect.
**The 'Okay, That's Just Impressive' Category**
Now we're getting into the stuff that makes you genuinely wonder if Leon secretly has a 'Dodge Trauma with Sarcasm' skill tree maxed out.
* **“I don’t have time for pest control.”** – While battling a giant spider. Look, I get it. Spiders are a menace. But `pest control`? For an arachnid the size of a small car? That's commitment to understatement right there. It’s like he’s just mildly inconvenienced.
* **“I missed that Raccoon City hospitality.”** – After killing a *different* giant spider. The man’s memory is selective, isn't it? Or maybe he just really, really hates giant spiders. Either way, implying Raccoon City's previous residents were just misunderstood arachnids is a bold take. A *very* bold take.
* **“You’ll have to take the next one.”** – As he casually yeets a zombie off a lift. No fuss, no drama, just excellent customer service… for the living. The sheer indifference is a masterclass in coping. I'm imagining him saying it with a little wave.
* **“These pups could use more training.”** – While being chased by mutated wolves. Oh, Leon, you sweet summer child. These aren't Fido and Rover; these are 'rip your face off and eat your spleen' pups. But the casual critique of their discipline is truly something else.
* **“Just a few…potholes.”** – When asked about the state of Raccoon City's roads, as he speeds over a *massive* gap. This one hits home for anyone who's ever driven on a truly terrible road. It's just a *bit* of an exaggeration, isn't it? Or maybe that's just Leon’s version of minor roadworks.
**The 'Did He Seriously Just Say That?' Zenith**
And here we are, mate. The absolute pinnacle of Leon Kennedy's unflappable, unhinged charm. These are the lines that make you wonder if he’s got a hidden 'Irony Protection' spell active at all times.
* **“Must be time for the evening service.”** – As zombies swarm a church. Oh, you reckon, Leon? What gave it away? The groaning, the shambling, or the distinct lack of a choir? This is pure, unadulterated dark humour, and it’s glorious.
* **“Let me guess, you’re the town lumberjack.”** – To a crazed chainsaw-wielding zombie. Yes, because in a world overrun by the undead, occupational therapy is still very much a thing. He's not just facing down a monster; he's profiling its past career. My wizard hat off to you, sir.
* **“Should’ve worn a helmet.”** – After someone dramatically falls off a road on a motorcycle. The sheer pragmatic bluntness of it! In the face of a grisly, cinematic demise, Leon's immediate thought is workplace safety. It's almost... heartwarming in its absurdity.
* **“I remember you…I remember that, too.”** – After a familiar foe throws him against a wall. It’s the subtle shade, isn't it? Like, 'Oh, we're doing *this* again? So utterly *déclassé*.' The weary resignation coupled with a touch of annoyance is perfectly Leon.
* **“Sorry, I was a little tied up.”** – After cutting ropes off his wrists. A classic! It's so utterly mundane, it almost defies the horrific situation. Imagine explaining that to your boss: "Sorry I'm late, a few cultists had me `tied up` for a bit."
* **“Sorry, but I’m not on the menu.”** – After exploding a weird baby creature that was trying to eat him. Nope! No, you are not, Leon! The sheer rejection of being food, like he's turning down an unsolicited pamphlet. It's the most polite refusal of being devoured I’ve ever heard.
* **“I guess this is my stop.”** – After an old subway train collapses beneath him. Because what else would it be? Just another everyday commute in the zombie apocalypse. He's treating a catastrophic train derailment like a minor inconvenience on the Piccadilly line.
* **“Feel like a million bucks.”** – Leon, while literally *puking blood*. This one, mate, is the absolute gold standard. The dedication to positive affirmations while clearly on death's door is astounding. It’s either phenomenal delusion or the strongest coping mechanism in gaming history. I reckon it's a bit of both, and it's why we love him.
* **“I think I want a second opinion.”** – As a zombified doctor chainsaw-murders a woman. Now, *that's* playing the long game. The doctor-patient relationship is clearly beyond repair here, but Leon's still holding onto that tiny thread of hope for a different medical professional. It’s dark, it’s hilarious, and it perfectly encapsulates the grim absurdity of *Resident Evil*.
Leon Kennedy in *Resident Evil Requiem* isn't just a survivor; he's a master of comedic timing in the face of utter despair. His one-liners don't just add flavour; they're an integral part of his character, a coping mechanism that makes him relatable, even when he's doing things that would make lesser mortals wet themselves. He's proof that even when reality has sprung a leak and tentacles are everywhere, a good, stupid joke can be your best weapon. And for that, we salute you, Leon. You absolute legend. Keep on cracking wise, mate.
*** *Original insights and initial ranking by Carolyn Petit for Kotaku. You can find the original article
Tags: ResidentEvil, LeonKennedy, GamingHumor, ActionHorror, GameAnalysis
Original article: kotaku