Bloody Hell, Jack Black Thinks Becoming a Dry Bones Feels Like a Chiropractic Adjustment?! The Super Mario Galaxy Movie's Wildest Ride
AI Gaming News Author · Polygon ·
Jeff unravels the delightfully bizarre mystery of the Super Mario Galaxy Movie's 'suicide coaster,' where Koopas willingly become Dry Bones. With insights from Jack Black and Bennie Safdie, he explores whether this skeletal transformation is painful or pleasurable, discovering a hilarious downside for any aspiring Dry Bones foodie.
Right, so I’ve been tinkering with the latest whispers from the Super Mario Galaxy Movie, and fair dinkum, it’s wilder than a rogue Wario kart on Rainbow Road. Forget your Star Fox spin-off dreams or expanded character rosters for a moment, because one particular piece of Koopa engineering has truly blown a hole through my understanding of reality – and frankly, it's brilliant in its absurdity.
I’m talking, of course, about the infamous 'suicide coaster' on Planet Bowser. Yes, you read that correctly. A *suicide coaster*. My word. This isn't just another one of Bowser's over-the-top, spike-laden, lava-filled castles (though those are pretty spectacular in their own right, aren't they? Who funds these operations, honestly?). This, mate, is a whole new level of architectural madness.
Now, anyone who’s spent a minute in the Mushroom Kingdom knows Bowser’s army has always had a knack for seemingly impossible feats of engineering. Remember those flying machines in Super Mario Bros. 3, piloted by the Koopalings? Utterly impractical, yet gloriously effective. Bowser's construction crews have been decking out castles with spinning fire bars, cunning spike traps, and enough lava pits to make a dragon blush for forty years. But this latest creation from the creative mind of Bowser Jr. – a roller coaster designed *specifically* to transform its Koopa riders into undead skeletons – well, it’s got me pondering some pretty deep, albeit delightfully daft, questions about life, death, and shell-based anatomies in the Mario universe.
The scene in question – and yes, consider this your spoiler warning if you haven't ventured into the cinematic galaxy yet – reunites Bowser with his son on the massive fortress known as Planet Bowser. As the camera pans across this colossal structure, you glimpse an amusement park. An *amusement park*. On a fortress planet dedicated to conquest! And there it is: a roller-coaster ride for Koopas that, rather than delivering thrills and cotton candy, plunges its unsuspecting (or perhaps, surprisingly eager) riders into a vat of molten lava. The result? They emerge as jubilant Dry Bones. Undead skeleton creatures. To become undead, you’ve gotta first be, you know, *dead*. And yet, these Koopas are absolutely chuffed about the whole process.
It immediately conjured up images of Julijonas Urbonas' conceptual 'Euthanasia Coaster,' designed to end lives with 'elegance and euphoria.' And while the real-world concept is a tad grim, the Koopa version? It’s pure, unadulterated, Mario-esque chaos. These bone-ridden blokes aren't just undead; they're positively rapturous. Which begs the question: are they just *that* dedicated to Bowser that eternal skeletal servitude is the ultimate honour? Or, and this is the truly mind-bending part, does becoming a Dry Bones *feel good*?
To get to the bottom of this bizarre biological quandary, the folks over at Polygon (who originally brought us this wonderfully bizarre deep-dive by Michael McWhertor) did what any self-respecting journalist would: they went straight to the source. Or rather, the voices of the source. Jack Black, who lends his booming voice to Bowser (and famously becomes Dry Bowser himself after an 'unplanned lava dip' in the movie), and Bennie Safdie, the voice of Bowser Jr., were pressed for answers during a recent interview.
Safdie’s theory? It's like cracking your knuckles. "They reorient themselves. It looks dangerous, and then it's like [imitates bone-pile-reforming-into-Dry Bones sound] and then they come back to life." Right. So, a bit of a bone-popping, reassembly job. Sounds... invigorating, I suppose. Not exactly a spa day, but hey, if it feels good, who are we to judge?
Black, ever the connoisseur of sensations, likened the transformation to "when you get a chiropractic adjustment, and it feels so good. It hurts for a second, and you're like, 'Oop! Am I paralyzed?! No, I'm good.'" Fair dinkum, that's actually a pretty solid analogy! That moment of sharp discomfort followed by glorious release. "'Am I dead? No, I'm just loose,'" Safdie chimed in, perfectly capturing the bizarre exhilaration.
So there you have it, straight from the Koopa's mouth (or at least, the actors who provide their voices). The process of shedding your fleshy form for a life of eternal skeletal servitude isn't some horrific ordeal; it's a bloody good crack! A cosmic chiropractic adjustment, if you will. The ultimate rush.
But wait, there's a downside, isn't there? Black, speaking after presumably enjoying a wagyu beef hamburger at the Nintendo Museum's Hatena Burger café (the dedication to research is commendable!), pointed out the major drawback: "If you're a foodie, it's probably really frustrating because you're like 'Ooh, I'm gonna eat that wagyu [beef]' and it just goes right through [your skeleton]. It ruins any good meal."
And there it is, the true tragedy of the Dry Bones existence. Eternal life, endless service to Bowser, the thrill of the lava coaster... but no enjoyment of a good meal. Imagine, mate, craving a lovely bit of wagyu and having it just pass straight through your ribcage. Talk about an existential culinary crisis! It's enough to make a chap shed a tear (if he still had tear ducts, that is).
This whole discussion just highlights the incredible, often bizarre, depths of lore and world-building that even a seemingly simple animated movie can spark. It's not just about the flashy visuals or the celebrity voices; it's about those small, wonderfully weird details that make you stop and think, "What the actual Mushroom Kingdom is going on here?" And honestly, that's what makes digging into gaming and its surrounding media so much fun. Cheers to Michael McWhertor over at Polygon for kicking off this cracking conversation! This digital wizard certainly appreciates the deeper dives into the unexpected corners of our favourite franchises.
Tags: Super Mario, Nintendo, Movie Lore, Jack Black, Gaming Culture
Original article: Polygon