Bloody Hell, It's Back: Nintendo's Virtual Boy Re-Emerges for the Certified Weirdos Among Us
AI Gaming News Author · Polygon ·
Nintendo has resurrected the notorious Virtual Boy as a Switch accessory, and while it's still gloriously awkward and requires a subscription for games, it's a well-made, eye-straining conversation piece perfectly suited for retro-loving oddballs.
Alright, gather 'round, mates. I've been tinkering with a rather peculiar piece of news, and fair dinkum, it's wilder than if I'd accidentally summoned a pixelated demon into my living room. We're talking about the Virtual Boy. Yeah, *that* Virtual Boy. The one Nintendo tried to make us all forget, now back as a Switch and Switch 2 accessory. You know that feeling when you dig out an old, forgotten spellbook, cast a dubious enchantment, and it actually, unexpectedly, *works*? That's kinda what Nintendo just did.
For those of you who might have been too busy not straining your eyes in the mid-nineties, the original Virtual Boy was, shall we say, a *catastrophic* flop. We're talking numbers so low they make the Wii U look like a runaway success story – 770,000 units against the Wii U's nearly 14 million. It was a bold, red experiment that ended with a collective headache. But here we are, decades later, and Nintendo's gone and resurrected the all-red VR headset, not for the masses, mind you, but for the 'elder millennials' and 'gen-xers' who revel in retro oddities. And honestly? I'm here for it, even if my eyes are already watering in anticipation.
First impressions, packaging-wise, are a bit of a letdown, I reckon. It comes in this rather uninspired red box, much like any other Switch accessory. And for a device so utterly unique and tied to a distinct, quirky era, that's a bloody shame. Where's the glorious '90s box art? The original packaging was practically a work of art in its own right – a bizarre, eye-catching relic. If you're targeting collectors, as Nintendo clearly is with this, you'd think they'd put a bit more care into the presentation. Atari, with their throwback 2600 console, really nailed the 'ephemera element,' giving us replica boxes and detailed manuals. Nintendo, take note! We want to feel like we're unearthing a forbidden artifact, not just unboxing a new blender attachment.
Now, physically, the new Virtual Boy is almost indistinguishable from its predecessor. It's a plastic headset perched atop folding metal legs, designed to be used while seated at a table. And honestly, the height is still exquisitely awkward. I mean, who was this originally designed for? A gnome with a desk fetish? You'll find yourself hunching over like you're trying to divine secrets from a crystal ball, or stacking a precariously tall tower of gaming magazines underneath just to get a decent viewing angle. (Speaking from personal experience, those forehead indents are a charming touch after an intense session, mind.)
The top now flips open, allowing you to slide in either a Switch or Switch 2 screen. Handy, but if you're rocking the original Switch, you'll need to do a spot of DIY with a screwdriver to swap the screen plate. And bad news for Switch Lite users – you're out of luck. Also, they've made the facial cavity slightly larger and more rectangular, which leads to a bit more light leak. While the original felt like a sealed tomb for your eyeballs, this new one lets in a touch more reality, which is probably a good thing for your sanity, but perhaps less so for 'immersion.'
They've kept some of the aesthetic quirks too, like dummy sliders for focus and IPD (interpupillary distance) on top, because those are now handled digitally by your Switch. On the bottom, you'll spot non-functional ports and toggles for volume, headphone jacks, and even a controller socket. A thoughtful detail, sure, but it's a bit of a tease. Imagine finding your original Virtual Boy controller – a wonderfully weird beast with dual D-pads and long arms for balance – only to realise it's just for show. No replica controller is included with the $99 price tag, which is understandable, but still a little bit of a bummer for the completionists among us.
The original Virtual Boy came with stern warnings about short play sessions, and this new version isn't much different. I found anything over 15 or 20 minutes started making me feel a bit woozy, like I'd spun around too many times after a particularly potent mana potion. But – and this is a big but – it felt significantly *less* eye-frying than I remember the original being. I can't quite put my finger on why, but I reckon the Switch's newer screens and digital focusing might be doing some heavy lifting here. I didn't even need my glasses, which is a minor miracle in itself.
Now, for the games. At launch, you're getting seven titles: *3D Tetris*, *Galactic Pinball*, *Golf*, *The Mansion of Innsmouth* (that's the Japanese title one, for the lovecraftian horror fans), *Red Alarm*, *Teleroboxer*, and *Wario Land*. But here's the catch, and it's a big one: you need a Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack membership to access these. That's an extra $49.99 a year on top of your $99 accessory. It feels a bit like buying a magical wand only to discover the spellbook requires a monthly subscription fee. Nintendo's probably gambling that most of the weirdos drawn to this already have the Expansion Pack, but it's still a point of gentle skepticism from me.
As for the library itself, it's a mixed bag, as these retro offerings often are. *Wario Land* is the definite standout – a wonderfully forgiving 2D platformer with clever design that makes good use of the foreground/background mechanics. I sunk so much time into it that I earned my forehead indents with honour. *Galactic Pinball* is a smooth-brain, short-sesh delight. And while I'm absolutely terrible at *Red Alarm*, its ultra-minimalist, wireframe art style is absolutely captivating, like something from a forgotten digital dimension.
But then there's *3D Tetris*, which, as a geometry-averse individual, I noped out of faster than you can say 'isometric catastrophe.' *Teleroboxer* still feels like a needlessly complicated *Punch-Out!!* with robots, and *Golf* is as bland as the packaging. *The Mansion of Innsmouth* mostly gave me jump scares from its intro cinematic because I couldn't figure out the actual game. Still, Nintendo promises more titles down the line, so there's hope for future digital excavations.
Ultimately, this new Virtual Boy isn't for the casual gamer, and it's certainly not for your kids unless you want them to develop an affinity for crimson-tinted headaches. This, my friends, is for the old-school weirdos, the retro enthusiasts, the curious explorers who love a bit of gaming history, no matter how flawed. If you know ball, if you crave the captivatingly trippy visuals and the sheer novelty of Nintendo's most glorious blunder, then the Virtual Boy is exactly what you hoped it would be. Go on, embrace the glorious weirdness. Just maybe set a timer.
*Original article by Jen Glennon, published on Polygon.*
Tags: Nintendo, VirtualBoy, RetroGaming, SwitchAccessory, GamingHardware
Original article: Polygon